You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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