Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
