I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
