haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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