I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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