Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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