my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
