I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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