Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
