Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
