I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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