I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I'm really busy with my period
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