my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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