last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
