I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
