summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
