Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
