That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
