dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize