But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
