so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
