awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They took my balls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
