How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize