I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
