Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize