Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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