I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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