Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
