I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
