did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
