dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
