I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
