I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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