found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
