Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize