I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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