you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pappa wants mamma naked
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
