I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
