I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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