Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
