How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
