omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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