Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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