we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
