Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want to fling myself into the sun
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
