all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He? As in you personified your dick?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
