Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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