Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i believe in u and ur pee
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