I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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