I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
