i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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