She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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