Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
