You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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