Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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