capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
