i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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