You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
