the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
