My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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