Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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