I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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