I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
